street kids & broken hearts

Divine appointments

As I walked around the corner, a little boy yelled out to me that he wanted a cup of coffee. I turned around to see a familiar face. The child said, “hey you look like another American girl that I know that helps women.” Then it clicked. This 8 year old little boy standing by another child of maybe 12 was the same child we had been trying to help for months. And I found found him. God led us to him. We had been working with the Costa Rican child protective services trying to help his entire family. When I first met his family, his mother was lying on a mat in their tiny, dirty house deathly sick. The little boy was actually in “foster care” because he had been taken away. The purpose of my visit was to help a 13 year old little girl who had been being sold as a prostitute. Little did I know God had even larger plans. 

The crazy thing about seeing this child this particular night was that we had literally just left the hospital where we had met the mother to pay her bus fair as she left the emergency room. That morning we had seen the daughter at our work program for rescued girls. What a sad and dark reality. 

As Carlos took this child aside to talk to him, the other boy (who was in the streets with him) who is around 12 years old caught my attention. I sat beside him on the curb and made small talk. I then felt that I had to ask him if he felt alone.... if he felt abandoned.... both of which he told me were true. As he began to pour out his story, my heart broke. His father died when he was small. His mother can not recognize him because she was so severely beaten by the step-father that she has serious brain damage. If the step-father beat the mom, I hate to imagine what he did to this little boy- his stepson. Often times when we see these “bad guys” on the streets we quickly turn our eyes. We are either filled with fear or we don’t want to let the reality of what we are seeing affect us, or we are too busy to care about the ‘bad guy’ on the street corner.... any number of things. However, to see that “street guy” as a little boy, right at the beginning of his life on the streets... it truly changes how you look at ‘street people’. This poor child.... abandoned, abused, neglected, alone. Alone in one of the most dangerous places. A place where literally no one cares about you. I could feel God’s heart break. Just feeling my own heart break was heart enough... but to think that I was only listening to his tragic story, while God had to sit and watch his little boy live through these things. Indescribable. 

                                                     Paths to brokenness

A woman at the work program on Saturday morning sat down across from me and looked me in the eyes. I’m not sure how she started but what she said kept me thinking. She began to tell me how drastically her life had changed since she came to know Jesus. Last week, we talked with the women in the program about how lies come into our lives and how those lies affect our lives. We asked them to think of which lies they believed about themselves and when those lies entered their lives. At the age of 9, this woman was raped. Her mother never believed her. This is when the lies began.... ‘you are worthless’, ‘no one believes you’.....the lies go on and on. 

From that day on, she began to grow more and more bitter. She was angry, didn’t understand, closed off, defensive, and isolated. As an adult this bitterness because her identity. The father of her children was terrible with her. She could not relate to her kids; she was so afraid that the same things that happened throughout her life would happen to them that she didn’t even let them have a life. Her bitterness was all consuming. She was completely isolated and harder than stone. Because she felt she had no value, and because her rights to her body were always just something that was taken from her; prostitution was an easy option. She continued to grow harder and fall farther. 

However, she told me that now her life has been completely transformed... that through the work program & discipleship, she has come to know the Lord personally. Her life is radically different in every aspect. She has hope, she smiles, she actually comes out of her house. She said that every day of her life, she used to wake up and think “ugh, I hate life..it’s going to be a terrible day...and I have nothing worth getting up for”. She said that one day a friend called her saying, “it’s so cold and rainy outside. It’s such an ugly day”. She in turn replied, “no, this is a beautiful day because the Lord made it just for me. And you can always put on a coat”. 

Seeing people like this is one of the things that keeps us going. Hearing someone just say out of the blue that God’s work through our ministry has radically changed everything about their lives makes it worth it. 

Sing along

I'm home in GA for a few weeks visiting family and raising support for the ministry!

Carlos was left alone as the only leader of Freedom Street for a few weeks! Please keep him in your prayers as he balances the MANY, MANY things that God is doing in and through Freedom Street!

I have loved reconnecting with old friends...and can not get over how gorgeous Georgia is. Wow. I have no words other than God is beautiful...and He surprises me every day.

As I sit here, I can almost understand how easy it is to be in this beautiful country of ours and never want to leave. It's easy to forget about the dying world on the outside.

But today I heard a song that totally touched my heart. It's written by Christy Nockels.... she wrote it after hearing about human trafficking... the thing is, it's asking God to spread His arms around the world which is a cry of my heart as well. However, I believe that God calls us to join with Him in that. To spread our arms around the broken world; to answer His command to go into the world and to bring  hope to the prisoners and free the oppressed. To go into the nations and make God known through our works.

Shaking the doors of darkness

One important aspect of our ministry is prayer. We believe and have seen the power of prayer to change lives, nations, hearts, to reach the most unreachable people. 

On Friday nights, we lead a team down to the biggest brothel in Costa Rica and hold a prayer vigil. The point of this vigil is to pray... but we always end up doing ministry to some of the most unlikely of people. We speak to pimps, to traffickers, to Americans who are coming to buy women, to drug dealers, to people in the mafia, you name it. It is incredible to see how our presence on this corner (where absolutely no one expects to see us) allows God's presence to work in the lives of the people down there.

A few weeks ago, we went out on a Friday night to have our prayer vigil. Carlos and I were leading a YWAM in which most of the people don't speak Spanish. As soon as we arrived to the corner, in front of the brothel, one of the biggest drug dealers in all of Costa Rica walked directly up to me. His name is Claud, and we have known him for quite some time. He is always there in front of that brothel, selling and doing drugs. However, over time we have developed a relationship with him. We entered into a very intense conversation, a very deep conversation that lasted about an hour. He began by saying that "you guys are the only people in the world who really love me. I know you love me, even though I'm so bad. You guys are my only real friends, the streets can't offer you real friends..everyone comes to take. I spent a lot of time in prison and the streets... well they don't ever forgive me for that." He told me how he was so thankful to God that we don't care about that, that we aren't scared of him, and that we truly love him for who he is. As I began to speak truth into his life about a 'better life and God's plan', he stared at me in complete shock. It was the first time in his life that someone had actually believed in him. Someone had actually been able to see the good in him. 

The conversation just got deeper and deeper... I could see the desperation in his eyes. He knew that we loved him.... he could see there was something different. He even told me that a few weeks ago when we were there, he got into a fight defending us. It had begun to rain and we all ran across the road to get shelter under the brothel's overhang. Apparently some other drug dealers and pimps were laughing at us, and he fought them because he knows "we are good people". He knows that we are the only people down there on the corner who want to give. 

Isn't that what God has done for all of us? Despite the filth in which he found us, he was able to find something good... he was able to see our potential. Everyone is a candidate for the kingdom of God... even these people on the darkest of corners. 

A song of praise

For the past year, we have been working with this one young man on the streets who is so young and so precious. He has been prostituting himself as a transvestite for over 5 years, and he's only 20. We have been walking very closely with him, especially over the past 4 months as he has made the decision to finally leave the streets to look for God. Last Wednesday he came with us to the YWAM base's family night. This is a night where all of the students in the training schools, all of the missionaries, and people from the community get together at the base to worship God and to listen to a teaching.  This young man stayed glued to me in the back corner of the room. During worship, I was standing with my arms raised, and he was sitting beside me in the seat. At one point, I looked down at him and he seemed like he was just zoned out, but looking towards the stage. I laid my hand on his shoulder to pray for him, and he bent forward. He began to weep. After the worship ended, Carlos, Ryan and myself took Israel outside to pray for him as he calmed down. God was doing something huge in his heart. He was completely moved by the powerful presence of God. He was amazed. He was touched. 

Please pray for this guy as we walk with him through this process. After so many years in such a dark lifestyle, there is a HUGE spiritual battle over his life. We are the only Christian people who he knows. He is desperate for God. However, his is continuing to struggle with the lies that hold so many people to the streets... and the money that the streets provide to feed himself and to help him get an education. We of corse, are willing to help him in any way that we can. 

A few of the people from our work program

A beautiful mess

Last Saturday night on the streets, we experienced something huge at literally every stop. Each person was begging for us to start our church again, which is temporarily on hold until we can find a new building to rent. We heard from the guys we work with about the crazy abuse that is happening by the men who are exploiting them. We had incredible conversations at every stop.

The one that caught my attention the most was also the most surprising. As you know, we have been working with transvestites since this ministry began. Carlos now has a ministry with the guys who are trying to get out of this lifestyle and find who "they really are". However, Saturday night I got out of the van to go and talk to one guy (who is a transvestite) who I have seen before, but not weekly like we see most of the other people. This particular guy, I will call Kevin, has come to our church before.

He began our conversation on Saturday expressing how desperately he missed our church. Because of the circumstances in his life, he has never believed in God. But he told us that at our church, he had to believe in God because when he walked into the room he could "feel God in there".

Kevin has always been one of the guys who has quickly defended his lifestyle even though we have never asked about it. He is always taking the initiative to tell us that "this is just the way I am" and has been very expressive about his lifestyle as a transvestite. This was all obviously just a cover-up for his true feelings, which we discovered on Saturday night.

He broke down in tears. I don't even remember how we got into this conversation as we stood talking on the street corner. I just know that very quickly, the conversation got very deep and very intense. He began to say how much he hated his life how it was... I wasn't sure if he was talking about the life of a prostitute or being a transvestite. He said both. He then added, "do you think that anyone REALLY wants to be a transvestite. I know we pretend like we do, but do you think that in the very depths of someone they want to be a transvestite." He had never shared any of these thoughts of feelings with anyone before. NEVER. And that night, he cried and poured out his heart to us for an hour. As he cried in my arms, I could feel his heart breaking. He shared about his past, his life of abuse, the poverty he grew up in, the abusive and later absent father, the rape and fear. He wants out. He wants a new life. And this desire for repentance and change can only be brought by God. He had never believed in God, but like he said over and over again; he now does believe in God because he "can actually feel him".


As a ministry, we want to always meet people exactly where they are. We want to radically love them exactly where they are and how they are. We believe that the kindness of God will lead them to repentance. What the world is desperate for is to be loved, and God has that love to offer.

God dreams over you... God dreams over them too

As I sat on the curb for 35 minutes, talking to my friends, God gave me a small glimpse of His heart for them. These 2 guys, my friends who are transvestites, have lived dark and damaging lives. Their stories are unbelievable... and unjust.. starting with rape and abuse as very small children.

One of them, Nicole*, introduced me to the other one, Isabel*, a few weeks before. When we walked up, Nicole said, “no, don’t worry, these are the ‘real’ ones. These are my friends who love us and are here to help us. They don’t judge.” She went on to explain that we were the only people who truly loved and cared about the people who work on the streets; and that God sends us to them. 

Now a few weeks later, I sit beside the two of them on the ground and talk about life and identity. Nicole told me how everyone goes around trying to fill a hole they have inside... and in the process they all end up hurting and abusing others. I told her that that was true; and that after that hole is filled with God, you are free to engaged in relationships where you can bless the other person by giving instead of always taking. Nicole looked at me, and agreed saying, “that’s why I love when you come here. You always come to give.” 

We talked about identity... and God gave me an image.. an image of Him as He was forming them, and He was creating an original masterpiece. I wondered what it was that God was thinking when He created these guys. I wonder what dreams He had for them; what gifts He decided to plant in them; what blessings He wanted to lavish upon them; what He wanted them to be ‘when they grew up’; how desperately He wanted to walk that dream out with them.

I know that this is not the life God has for them. I know that the enemy did so much damage to rob that life from both of them. As I spoke truth into their lives about their value and worth as people, and I told them that their value is unquestionable, not matter what life choices they had made; Nicole got goose bumps. 

We talked for a long time sitting on that street corner. A bus drove by and people hatefully threw things out the windows... and I saw the hurt in their eyes. They shared with me that their entire life has been filled with rejection; beginning long before they became transvestites. 

As we prayed over them, tears gently rolled down their face. Nicole told me that she always feels something when we pray for her... she feels an energy and she gets goose bumps; she feels this presence like she has never felt before that she says she is unable to explain. 

You begin to see people differently when you have a relationship with them... when you take the time to hear their stories that are so filled with pain... when you allow God to share a little piece of His heart for them with you. 

Working the way to their hearts & mine

The new work program- providing a way out

The work program that we have began as a part of our ministry has truly been a joy. We started this program as a means to help a group of women and young girls get off of the streets. We first met these girls when working on the documentary... a 16 year old girls introduced us to this group of girls saying, “I know some young girls in your area, you have to help them”. (This 16 year old was once a victims of exploitation as well). 

These girls shared their stories on camera, through streams of tears. Each one of them expressed their desperation to escape from this life of fear and darkness. 

Today I just got home from working with them for 3 hours. They worked so diligently. While they were working, Carlos and I pulled them aside one by one to have a “one-on-one”, (more like a 2-1, since Carlos and I were mentoring together) or a time to do discipleship. It was beautiful. 

I was so moved by these women’s hearts. Our program is just now starting out, and we are helping them with food at this point (with hopes to do more once we get more established in the program). While I was meeting with one lady, she expressed her deep gratitude to me. I had just finished telling her that I knew that she had needs other than food, and I wanted to know if the food was helping. Her response almost brought tears to my eyes. With a sparkle in her eye, she explained how deeply she appreciated the help, that food was their most immediate (urgent) need and was lasting them the entire week. Without having to worry about food, the money that would have been spent on food can be used to pay bills and meet other needs. She continued expressing how much it helped her, and then added “the thing that means the most to me about this program is that I know that you care for us. I know that I have someone walking with me. I know that I’m not doing this alone. It’s such a fight to get out of this lifestyle that is so dark that it ties you to it, but knowing that I have someone fighting with me means everything. Just knowing that I can do it because I’m not alone.” 

As we did the discipleships, my heart for these women grew and grew. So many people have certain ideas about prostitutes. But, those are the people that Jesus hung out with. I totally see why He did. Some of them are such beautiful people who are just in desperate need of a savior. They have had the most horrible lives, and many of them are being exploited. They live a life of otter fear. We were even able to experience a small part of that fear later Tuesday night. 

Carlos and I were doing our usual street ministry but took a team along with us who is at the YWAM base for a few months. The night was just spiritually heavy, to say the least. The first stop started it all. We had just finished talking to some of our friends on the first corner and were loading up in the car to leave when a wild man came to the window. He was on crack and was basically crawling through Carlos’s window while talking to him. It was scary and weird. However, as I looked into his frightening eyes, my heart broke. I knew that behind those eyes was a completely broken heart and lost life. But not only what was happening in the physical world, our ‘Freedom Street’ team could sense more. 

A few stops later, we encountered something terrifying. On the same block where some of the exploited women prostitutes stand, a man was murdered. He was stabbed right in front of their eyes. They were completely filled with fear. They were alone. 

This situation was obviously something that was not from God. However, God still did bring good out of this. We were able to minister to tons of people on the block who had witness the even and were in desperate need of comforting. The Lord sent us there. This incident opened a HUGE door for us to talk to people from every walk of life, and to speak to people about God. We were able to pray with bystanders. We were able to help a brand new security guard who was in shock as well as a foreign exchange student to name a few. And of course, the women we work with in our ministry. I can’t imagine being forced to stand on that dangerous corner in fear all night long... in fear of the danger of the streets, in fear of the man who is controlling you.... in fear of being kidnapped by a “client”... in fear of the crazy homeless man of crack. 

The one who is in us is greater than the one of this world. God has been doing beautiful and incredible things. More to come soon!

Thank you for your prayers! 

there is POWER in the name of Jesus...

Sunday night, Izzy arrived at church. He is a sweet young 19 year old guy. He and I have been friends for awhile. It started off like most of the friendships I have through this ministry... I put almost all of the effort into the relationship. But slowly, things began to change. He began to call me, to text me, to look for me, and to ask about my life. We have grown really close over the past 8 months. Israel started to prostitute when he was 13 years old. His home situation was horrible. His step father was extremely violent. His siblings were scattered among family members. Izzy ended up living with an aunt who later threw him out of the house after her husband became a raging alcoholic. With nowhere to go, and being just a young boy, he found himself on the streets. He hated life on the streets. His first night on the street he asked God, “If you are real; take me away to be with you.” Being a young boy, he grew angry with God and began to search to fill what was missing in his life. He was manipulated and swooped up and converted into a victim of child sexual tourism in Costa Rica. 

To keep up with the demand, he found himself prostituting as a girl... and for years was sold as a transvestite. 

On his worst night of his life, he had a radical encounter with God. He broke down in tears. A boy whose heart had become harder than stone, who didn’t even think he was able to cry; broke down in tears before the Lord. He began to have flash backs of words people had shared with him from God. And this is where his new journey began. 

After 5 years of working as a transvestite prostitute, and after years of encouragement from our ministry, and after having the truth spoken over him, his life is finally taking a drastic change. Just hearing him talk yesterday was a huge confirmation of answered prayers over his life. He was filled with hope, something I have never seen in him before. He was confident that God has something big for his life. He told me that he knew there was something different about us, his friends, and he wants it. He has not been on the streets in a month now... he has decided that he never wants to go back. He has retuned home to live with his mother (who is no longer with the stepfather). This life on the streets for the past year has been his way to support his mother... leaving this lifestyle means leaving his source of income. 

However, Izzy now believes in himself... and he desperately wants more of God. Yesterday, he asked me if I could take him to a movie to get him out of the house. He even told me that he so deeply desires to be around Godly people who can help him walk closer to the Lord. It’s incredible. It has been a process of years... I’ve known him for 8 months and have cried my eyes out for him many nights. But finally, we are seeing the fruit... and we are seeing God’s miraculous transforming power. There is still a TON of healing to take place, a lot to learn, a lot more to change; but the desire is there. 

        We know that when the streets are involved, it is always a process. At times we wonder if we are making an impact on the lives of others, and at other times God allows us to see that we are. We invest all that we have into these relationships, and this makes it worth it. Sometimes we do get frustrated... we pour all we have into these friends for years and see the trapped in this world. But it's a process. And this is God's ministry. But, it's SO worth it...To see a young guy have the opportunity to start over in life... to see a soul saved... to see a spark put back into an eye... to see someone get a glimpse of true love... to see a life transformed... to see a friend find himself. 

We are looking at the best way to help him walk away from the streets for good. He is scared that he will fall back because of the need for money. But he is determined not to. He may be a part of the work program we will be starting soon! If you would like to help support the work program, please let me know! 


There is POWER in the name of Jesus.... to break every chain!