A beautiful mess

Last Saturday night on the streets, we experienced something huge at literally every stop. Each person was begging for us to start our church again, which is temporarily on hold until we can find a new building to rent. We heard from the guys we work with about the crazy abuse that is happening by the men who are exploiting them. We had incredible conversations at every stop.

The one that caught my attention the most was also the most surprising. As you know, we have been working with transvestites since this ministry began. Carlos now has a ministry with the guys who are trying to get out of this lifestyle and find who "they really are". However, Saturday night I got out of the van to go and talk to one guy (who is a transvestite) who I have seen before, but not weekly like we see most of the other people. This particular guy, I will call Kevin, has come to our church before.

He began our conversation on Saturday expressing how desperately he missed our church. Because of the circumstances in his life, he has never believed in God. But he told us that at our church, he had to believe in God because when he walked into the room he could "feel God in there".

Kevin has always been one of the guys who has quickly defended his lifestyle even though we have never asked about it. He is always taking the initiative to tell us that "this is just the way I am" and has been very expressive about his lifestyle as a transvestite. This was all obviously just a cover-up for his true feelings, which we discovered on Saturday night.

He broke down in tears. I don't even remember how we got into this conversation as we stood talking on the street corner. I just know that very quickly, the conversation got very deep and very intense. He began to say how much he hated his life how it was... I wasn't sure if he was talking about the life of a prostitute or being a transvestite. He said both. He then added, "do you think that anyone REALLY wants to be a transvestite. I know we pretend like we do, but do you think that in the very depths of someone they want to be a transvestite." He had never shared any of these thoughts of feelings with anyone before. NEVER. And that night, he cried and poured out his heart to us for an hour. As he cried in my arms, I could feel his heart breaking. He shared about his past, his life of abuse, the poverty he grew up in, the abusive and later absent father, the rape and fear. He wants out. He wants a new life. And this desire for repentance and change can only be brought by God. He had never believed in God, but like he said over and over again; he now does believe in God because he "can actually feel him".


As a ministry, we want to always meet people exactly where they are. We want to radically love them exactly where they are and how they are. We believe that the kindness of God will lead them to repentance. What the world is desperate for is to be loved, and God has that love to offer.

God dreams over you... God dreams over them too

As I sat on the curb for 35 minutes, talking to my friends, God gave me a small glimpse of His heart for them. These 2 guys, my friends who are transvestites, have lived dark and damaging lives. Their stories are unbelievable... and unjust.. starting with rape and abuse as very small children.

One of them, Nicole*, introduced me to the other one, Isabel*, a few weeks before. When we walked up, Nicole said, “no, don’t worry, these are the ‘real’ ones. These are my friends who love us and are here to help us. They don’t judge.” She went on to explain that we were the only people who truly loved and cared about the people who work on the streets; and that God sends us to them. 

Now a few weeks later, I sit beside the two of them on the ground and talk about life and identity. Nicole told me how everyone goes around trying to fill a hole they have inside... and in the process they all end up hurting and abusing others. I told her that that was true; and that after that hole is filled with God, you are free to engaged in relationships where you can bless the other person by giving instead of always taking. Nicole looked at me, and agreed saying, “that’s why I love when you come here. You always come to give.” 

We talked about identity... and God gave me an image.. an image of Him as He was forming them, and He was creating an original masterpiece. I wondered what it was that God was thinking when He created these guys. I wonder what dreams He had for them; what gifts He decided to plant in them; what blessings He wanted to lavish upon them; what He wanted them to be ‘when they grew up’; how desperately He wanted to walk that dream out with them.

I know that this is not the life God has for them. I know that the enemy did so much damage to rob that life from both of them. As I spoke truth into their lives about their value and worth as people, and I told them that their value is unquestionable, not matter what life choices they had made; Nicole got goose bumps. 

We talked for a long time sitting on that street corner. A bus drove by and people hatefully threw things out the windows... and I saw the hurt in their eyes. They shared with me that their entire life has been filled with rejection; beginning long before they became transvestites. 

As we prayed over them, tears gently rolled down their face. Nicole told me that she always feels something when we pray for her... she feels an energy and she gets goose bumps; she feels this presence like she has never felt before that she says she is unable to explain. 

You begin to see people differently when you have a relationship with them... when you take the time to hear their stories that are so filled with pain... when you allow God to share a little piece of His heart for them with you. 

Working the way to their hearts & mine

The new work program- providing a way out

The work program that we have began as a part of our ministry has truly been a joy. We started this program as a means to help a group of women and young girls get off of the streets. We first met these girls when working on the documentary... a 16 year old girls introduced us to this group of girls saying, “I know some young girls in your area, you have to help them”. (This 16 year old was once a victims of exploitation as well). 

These girls shared their stories on camera, through streams of tears. Each one of them expressed their desperation to escape from this life of fear and darkness. 

Today I just got home from working with them for 3 hours. They worked so diligently. While they were working, Carlos and I pulled them aside one by one to have a “one-on-one”, (more like a 2-1, since Carlos and I were mentoring together) or a time to do discipleship. It was beautiful. 

I was so moved by these women’s hearts. Our program is just now starting out, and we are helping them with food at this point (with hopes to do more once we get more established in the program). While I was meeting with one lady, she expressed her deep gratitude to me. I had just finished telling her that I knew that she had needs other than food, and I wanted to know if the food was helping. Her response almost brought tears to my eyes. With a sparkle in her eye, she explained how deeply she appreciated the help, that food was their most immediate (urgent) need and was lasting them the entire week. Without having to worry about food, the money that would have been spent on food can be used to pay bills and meet other needs. She continued expressing how much it helped her, and then added “the thing that means the most to me about this program is that I know that you care for us. I know that I have someone walking with me. I know that I’m not doing this alone. It’s such a fight to get out of this lifestyle that is so dark that it ties you to it, but knowing that I have someone fighting with me means everything. Just knowing that I can do it because I’m not alone.” 

As we did the discipleships, my heart for these women grew and grew. So many people have certain ideas about prostitutes. But, those are the people that Jesus hung out with. I totally see why He did. Some of them are such beautiful people who are just in desperate need of a savior. They have had the most horrible lives, and many of them are being exploited. They live a life of otter fear. We were even able to experience a small part of that fear later Tuesday night. 

Carlos and I were doing our usual street ministry but took a team along with us who is at the YWAM base for a few months. The night was just spiritually heavy, to say the least. The first stop started it all. We had just finished talking to some of our friends on the first corner and were loading up in the car to leave when a wild man came to the window. He was on crack and was basically crawling through Carlos’s window while talking to him. It was scary and weird. However, as I looked into his frightening eyes, my heart broke. I knew that behind those eyes was a completely broken heart and lost life. But not only what was happening in the physical world, our ‘Freedom Street’ team could sense more. 

A few stops later, we encountered something terrifying. On the same block where some of the exploited women prostitutes stand, a man was murdered. He was stabbed right in front of their eyes. They were completely filled with fear. They were alone. 

This situation was obviously something that was not from God. However, God still did bring good out of this. We were able to minister to tons of people on the block who had witness the even and were in desperate need of comforting. The Lord sent us there. This incident opened a HUGE door for us to talk to people from every walk of life, and to speak to people about God. We were able to pray with bystanders. We were able to help a brand new security guard who was in shock as well as a foreign exchange student to name a few. And of course, the women we work with in our ministry. I can’t imagine being forced to stand on that dangerous corner in fear all night long... in fear of the danger of the streets, in fear of the man who is controlling you.... in fear of being kidnapped by a “client”... in fear of the crazy homeless man of crack. 

The one who is in us is greater than the one of this world. God has been doing beautiful and incredible things. More to come soon!

Thank you for your prayers! 

there is POWER in the name of Jesus...

Sunday night, Izzy arrived at church. He is a sweet young 19 year old guy. He and I have been friends for awhile. It started off like most of the friendships I have through this ministry... I put almost all of the effort into the relationship. But slowly, things began to change. He began to call me, to text me, to look for me, and to ask about my life. We have grown really close over the past 8 months. Israel started to prostitute when he was 13 years old. His home situation was horrible. His step father was extremely violent. His siblings were scattered among family members. Izzy ended up living with an aunt who later threw him out of the house after her husband became a raging alcoholic. With nowhere to go, and being just a young boy, he found himself on the streets. He hated life on the streets. His first night on the street he asked God, “If you are real; take me away to be with you.” Being a young boy, he grew angry with God and began to search to fill what was missing in his life. He was manipulated and swooped up and converted into a victim of child sexual tourism in Costa Rica. 

To keep up with the demand, he found himself prostituting as a girl... and for years was sold as a transvestite. 

On his worst night of his life, he had a radical encounter with God. He broke down in tears. A boy whose heart had become harder than stone, who didn’t even think he was able to cry; broke down in tears before the Lord. He began to have flash backs of words people had shared with him from God. And this is where his new journey began. 

After 5 years of working as a transvestite prostitute, and after years of encouragement from our ministry, and after having the truth spoken over him, his life is finally taking a drastic change. Just hearing him talk yesterday was a huge confirmation of answered prayers over his life. He was filled with hope, something I have never seen in him before. He was confident that God has something big for his life. He told me that he knew there was something different about us, his friends, and he wants it. He has not been on the streets in a month now... he has decided that he never wants to go back. He has retuned home to live with his mother (who is no longer with the stepfather). This life on the streets for the past year has been his way to support his mother... leaving this lifestyle means leaving his source of income. 

However, Izzy now believes in himself... and he desperately wants more of God. Yesterday, he asked me if I could take him to a movie to get him out of the house. He even told me that he so deeply desires to be around Godly people who can help him walk closer to the Lord. It’s incredible. It has been a process of years... I’ve known him for 8 months and have cried my eyes out for him many nights. But finally, we are seeing the fruit... and we are seeing God’s miraculous transforming power. There is still a TON of healing to take place, a lot to learn, a lot more to change; but the desire is there. 

        We know that when the streets are involved, it is always a process. At times we wonder if we are making an impact on the lives of others, and at other times God allows us to see that we are. We invest all that we have into these relationships, and this makes it worth it. Sometimes we do get frustrated... we pour all we have into these friends for years and see the trapped in this world. But it's a process. And this is God's ministry. But, it's SO worth it...To see a young guy have the opportunity to start over in life... to see a soul saved... to see a spark put back into an eye... to see someone get a glimpse of true love... to see a life transformed... to see a friend find himself. 

We are looking at the best way to help him walk away from the streets for good. He is scared that he will fall back because of the need for money. But he is determined not to. He may be a part of the work program we will be starting soon! If you would like to help support the work program, please let me know! 


There is POWER in the name of Jesus.... to break every chain! 

What are little girls made of?

It is estimated there are up to 27 million slaves worldwide, and that 99% of victims are NEVER rescued. Human trafficking is the second largest global organized crime. A UNICEF report says up to 2,000,000 children are currently being exploited around the world for purposes of sex or pornography. In some cases, children are forced to work as prostitutes serve as many as 40 men per day.


This week, we met some of those little girls. As I looked at the sweet faces of these little girls, I thought of the children that used to be my students, I thought of my little cousins, I imagined what it would be like if they were my children. I listened to them pour out their hearts through tears. 


We visited the house of one sweet little girl....I listened to one sweet girl who was only as tall as my elbow tell me about her entrance to prostitution in order to help her mother who was dying (but was later manipulated by men involved). I looked at her mother lying on a mat on the floor and could tell she was close to death... Elizabeth and I decided to call a lady who is a nurse that we know to come and help her mother. The sweet little girl immediately connected with us, desperate for help. I'm excited to see what God does in her life. 


God has truly expanded our ministry to whole new levels. We have our hands full and are more and more need for a safe house for these sweet girls. 


We had a team come pray with us last week in front of the biggest brothel in San Jose. As we prayed, one of the team members asked me to comfort her because she was overwhelmed with the complete darkness. As I listened to her speak, I remembered the promises of God for this very type of darkness. And although our ministry does take us into some of the darkest places, we have seen God's light in the midst of that. It's an honor to carry Light... it's because of grace we have that light. 
Working in such a dark ministry has made me love the Lord and love His Light more and more. 


There is hope. As Christians, we hold the hope. 

Connections, ministry, friendship

A few nights ago, I received a phone call at 10:30 as I was going to bed (obviously one of the few nights we aren't out on the streets). On the other end of the phone, I heard the voice of one of the women we work with, Sarah. I have been visiting her on the streets and mentoring her for the past few months; but she has never come to the church services or other things we do in the ministry house. God's timing is incredible... truly incredible. When we are obedient to Him, He does the coolest things! This is one of those things. A few weeks before, I asked Sarah about her brother and she lost it... she began to share with me about his life. He had been in jail for the past 10 years, but before going to jail had contaminated many women with AIDS without their knowledge. She told me that she thought that was a sin and I agreed. She then told me that she might just go and tell him that he needs to repent. I told her that would be a fine idea, encouraging her in her endeavors to help mentor her brother. Why hadn't she thought of this in the past 10 years since he has been in jail? God's timing!

A few days later, her brother died of AIDS. I was the first person she called when she heard the news. She said that the only reason that she had peace, was because she knew her brother had repented after she shared with him what was on her heart... incredible. 

I cried as I listened to her speak on the other end of the phone.... what an honor it is to be the person that someone calls when they are in their hardest moments. What an honor. That is why we go to the streets. To reach hearts. 

The 'pimps' miracle continued

I know I blogged a few weeks ago about a pimp's wife being healed after we prayed with him in the park. We saw this man again last night and he asked us to come to his house and pray for his wife once more. God has saved her from death, and now she is at home, but still has pain. We gladly agreed and Carlos and I went to see her this morning. Carlos took his guitar and we sang and prayed over this woman. 

A Pimp's encounter with God!

        Last week, as we stood on the streets talking to some of the men prostitutes; a car came flying by and then slammed on the breaks right in front of us. One of the most well-known pimps from the biggest brothel in the city got out of the car. He was looking for us frantically (we had just passed him a few minutes before). He asked us to pray for his wife of 30 years who was "FOR SURE" going to die. She was in ICU in a coma with a swollen brain, the doctors wouldn't even let him enter. We cried out to God for a miracle. We wanted this pimp to see God.
       The next day he went to see her and she was awake and recognized him. With tears in his eyes he screamed, "He did it. God did the miracle!"
Wow! Pray for this man's life to be transformed.

Called to Cry

In the past few weeks, I have been awaken in the middle of the night. I sit up in my bead as tears stream down my face and I feel the urgent call to pray, to intercede. I have been asking God about how to pray for these victims, and He has been teaching me a lot about prayer through experience. As I begin to pray for these men and women and children, some I barely know, I can feel the heart of God. I can feel His heart break for these hurting people. I feel his desire to redeem them and to rescue them. I can feel their pain and their desperate need for someone to fight for them. I believe that a lot of that fighting happens through intersession.

God has my heart completely, I am madly in love with Him. But what I want to search for is His heart. His heart for these men and women and children.

I think we are all called to cry out to God. We are all called to come into agreement with God's heart and to pray. Let's cry out for these victims of exploitation.... these parentless children who have no one interceding for them.


Arise, cry out in the night,
    as the watches of the night begin;
pour out your heart like water
    in the presence of the Lord. 
Lift up your hands to him
    for the lives of your children,
who faint from hunger
    at every street corner.
-Lamentations 2:19 

I am thankful that there was someone praying for me in my hardest moments. I believe that through their prayers, battles were fought and won. 
Although I do not understand how, I have seen it first hand. 


It's an honor that God wants to take the time to share His heart with us. 


Who are you crying out for?